Peanut Butter,Hum Yum and..?

I have been healing weeping itching, itching weeping.Cellitice darken my legs play havoc with the crappy veins that have not worked for years.

Useless veins I used vegitable oil for years.I usually try to get peanut butter.Need the oil for cooking so I thought hummm! Peanut butter. Creamy much better then peanut.

I stopped itchin , no desire to itch it dries and Wow where it was bloody because itching us intoxicating.So dried peanut butter allows my healling.

So yeah. No medical bill.Im not allergic to it.I smell like peanut butter.Beats the shit out the smell of infection. Both my ankles had ulcers they to are healling?

I have used vinigar too. Then I smelt like salad. Its all good if I heal.And if I feel better I’m more useful. Yeah!


Poor people’s firbabies

Being poor no one gets the size of wallet.People do not become animal doctors ,veterinarians because they love animals anymore. We, I might say I’m worried my black firbaby is not feeling great.

People without a thought in the world will be flip, take them to a vet! I write and build content on Youtube to get my Media Company going ‘I HATE POVERTY! I’m vehical less it does not mean I don’t have a plan!

Most people at 4 am are still sleeping not me.I need to go to the dentist.I need a vehical.Blacks under the weather.Last night he started to eat.For two days all he had was recycled bile.

I have peanut butter on my ankles so from the toxin that caued infection from Celitice when I change the TP bandage my ankle don’t itch. Have you ever had hives? Itching is better then an orgasm. To assist with my cat getting better I did what I do for me when needing to stop puking I sip vinigar. I only have white apples the best for you but if you have neither salad dressing is good to. I toss vinigar on my feet when I have it.

Smelling like a salad is better then being dead. Last night I smeared a spot on blacks coat with vinigar.’No more puking!’ Its terrific to have the sound of crunching. He was also having diareah all bloody. It would crush this poor vehicaless writing lesbian Youtuber alone without love if I lost my firbaby.

When you see poor people next time and you think aren’t they lucky they have someone who loves them unconditionally well that love runs both ways.What poor people do not have for themself , we do not have for our firbabies too. We make do and hope they can get by hurting like we get by.

We don’t want to be poor.If I had the money to start a Ride Share or a deliver business every little thing gets us nearer what is desired. No vehical no food no nothing but pain.

An adopted family took me to get food on Saturday.When Pat brought me home she said now you have food for a while. On the way home she lectured me on the importance of transportation.Do people really assume that in 2019 Everyone’s  not aware of why we need a decent Ride Share for food and to get to other locations.Poor people Do not take little towns Home tiwn cabs that if dropped off at Walmart charges $60 while you shop. I would charge $5 an hour.

Transportation and animal doctors unlike Monona Iowa veterinarian who when we say our animals are ill they say bring them when you have money. I fucking hate that GD credit thing prople make what they are or were paid.I certainly never imagined because I survived being struck by a 93 year old retired attorney I would not find anyone to employ me Im awesome with animals.An outstanding cook.Safe driver. Good in detail I walk with a cane because I need new knees.

End of the month I have very little money.At the groccery store on sale I bought 3 pork steaks I love them.I also splurged and got half a pound of peper jack cheese. It was the first time in 3 years I had shopped in a groccery store like a real human.

At the cashier Pat was in front of me she had bought me some ice cream told me it was because she was happy I had gotten rid of my red pickup. I would have driven it until I got money for my budiness or it had killed me. She turns like her crippled friend me is retarded and says in broad daylight ‘ Do you have enough money for that!’

As an Gay Empath writer things like a tin woman rumbles arpund inside like a bee stuck in a bee hive with no avanue of excape only the tin can’s my gut.I guess you could say this Iowan rumenates like a cow on moments of life. Stories make me giggle or touch me or trouble me. It is not the first time without thinking I have after rethinking a moment feel disturbed by an experience.

This is something I would never do to a friend embarrass them. I might if in line see someone in financial strapness and hand them a couple bucks. Maybe if I had not been without food for a week when 9 am Saturday March 30, 2019 and my doorbell and someone was pounding on my door I should have not answered it.

So many things go through your thoughts in an instant when you areasked standing in line ‘Do you have enouhh money to cover your bill!’ Like time travel you are back to that opening of the door. I recall being inquired why she can never reach me and my phone says its out of service.

Pat would never understand I turn on my ‘Do not disturb!’ Because my phone is a tool not a phone.I write on it and read on my Youtube channle.People will Never grasp that my countent is mostly me.When the phone rings Uploads Do not load! Camera on my phone shuts off!

I have a special friend in Montena Darlene says things she must not regard as holding the worth they do do me.I only know one woman who trusted me blindly but being poverity stricken I still could not keep her safe from the bully in the Heike family, my family.Diana Lee Heike Dudley and wgen the two pain packs over the counter do succeed in murdering mom(Marian D.Bittenger Heike) in Granbury,Tx. Diana will walk from that as she did two years of harrassing our mom calling mom 70 times a week.Annual bullying visits, the proceeding to Gaslight mom in Diana’s home to remove me from moms will with lies I write horrible things about mom.Then harping after mom to get mom from Dec 2018 to Febriary 2019 so mom believes God knows what.She mom my best friend the woman since I was 9 this gay chick was they to help if she needed a hand.

Mom’s 91, I have not been allowed to talk to mom since last May. I no longer trust blindly see I’m an abused animal.Without my cat I have no one.And here’s Darlene telling me there are only three people she trust and I’m one if them. I’m a poor judge anymore. I’m one of the most feeling people I know but my half sister’s lies even took my Godson whom I loved like a son Daniel Eric Mathis and corrupted my little Dan. Ellen Beth Heike Mathis could have made all the difference in the world for mom and me all she had to do was come forward and tell the truth to crappy Iowa Human Service and her boys she would never get in Diana’s way.

Hell Ellen never once told mom what Diana was doing to mom or me. Gutless wonders all but my mom Marian D.Bittenger Heike. I sure would love a fulltime job at a small town newspaper in northern Montena while I seek funds to start a mulching produce farm. Well thankyou all for hearing my thoughts.I’m all cried out time to schnuggle with my cat and read a chapter its 55 in my crappy low rent apartment. The 480 for heat assistance and with creative figuring by Alliant Energy took 3 months to use up.

February Alliant energy added to the bill $100 making my usuage and the other taxes they add to the bill come to $185. I do not use the back bedroom.Only heat one room. Don’t use the ceiling lights just one $3 lamp with perminent light bulb.

Oh one more thing maybe two.Happy Aprils fools day late and get your shingles shot if you had chicken pox. If you get them the shot is of no use at all. Trust me they are horrible the itch after the redness burning from under your skin by your nerves is horrible.Then the water blisters and the itch then the scaring the only thing more oainful is a narcississitic socialpath half sister who all her life what you had was of less value then what she wanted. Narcississtic need to be seen as more significant danger then they are they scar deep into the heart.

Over the counter pain packs

Did you know they should Never Ever be used on anyone over sixty. My older half sister puts two a week on our now ninety one.My half sister has done this since January 2015. I was Never allowed to get Anyone to care!

With all the braim watching and with mu mom figuring she mom Marian D.Bittenger Heike had been abandoned to the monster.I know the mom I knew and cared for all my life is dead.

I beg of you do not allow this to happen to you! Never let the narcississist in your family do to you and your best friend what happened to mom and me. I wish mom and I had been dead from my half sisters fire and the removal of all but one battery in the smoke alarms.

Then my mom and I would be safe from the monster in Granbury Texas. Mom will eventually die from all this Codibe and no one will care and once again Diana Lee Dudley will walk free.

She walked with purpose

Steamy tall black jacket long legged ridding hat sat flat upon her luxous mystical black hair. Spanish hat like. Short black hair. Small curls next to both ear.No earring Vampire Vixen out in broad daylight mystical,Yum!

In an instant I had slammed her in my head against a wall.Small hands locked in mine.Brown leggins curved up her shapely legs from her ridding boots sculpting her perfectly sculted butt cheeks. A lesbian butch writer’s perfect muse.

This writer’s heart was off to the races. Me in my clunky tore blue jacket and grey pants and groccery cart very unintriguing.

Even my blood wanted to hold onto her. Memory of the beyond beautiful mysterical female at Fareway groccery store gave me another character for my lesbian fiction.

This mystical yummy female woman second yummiest woman in Decorah Iowa, only only to go into Jack Night Walker by me. Winneshiek County never imagined I’d discover a character to write about.

She is like sweet gooy milk chocolate with the carmel only made by nuns. Drizzled over warm wet orgassmic area.

The series of books I’m writing is my first lesbian fiction scifi and this woman will fit right in. Gosh that’s for me delightful.

Where’s the gypsies?

Tomorrow it will be eleven months since I was allowed to talk to my mom. It was December when my mom had my half sister contact Dr.Jeanette Pillsbury of Luther College with Diana knowing my phone number to find out my phone number because mom wanted to talk to me.

By February Diana the expert at Gaslight had convienced mom that of course I was not talking to her on purpose.Diana never told mom that she stopped allowing me to talk to me.

Diana had last March sent me a voided Walmart card mom had ask to have $30 on. Diana Lee Dudley has always been twisted white trash.

If you doubt this ask any of her divorced husbands.They divorsed her.Last one of a year was Dan Ahler, Texas looked Diana up on line.They brought mom Dianas old phones.Dan told me if I hit him he’d have me arrested. I NEVER struck anyone in my life! They married a year later Dan manned up and divorced the piece of trash that as usually was just after his wallet.

In America when parents become a certain age the goverment will believe whatever lies a daughter puts out about her innocent gay sister and not even bothrr yo look into the evil white trash whose only way to survive was working 20 hours a week selling tickets at Granbury Opera house.

After the fire in the electric drier (2% of laundry room fires are caused by electric driers in US)and selling moms house to Mike Ferring of Waukon for 13000 less its vaulue Diana took mom not allowing her to remain in Iowa in 26 below zero on January 6th 2015.Diana never worked again.Diana’s goal was to devour moms money and assess. Brava Bitch!

If I knew a gypsie I would curse all except mom and Ellen dog who I love. Ellen Beth Heike Mathis and Diana Lee Dudley,Robert John Cook and Randy Andy Lovitt in Spencer Iowa, they all need to feel loss and loniness. So they would experience one eighth of all the pain and suffering I have endure because my blood sister Ellen Beth Heike Mathis knowing I’m innocent of ever hurting anyone allowed me to be lied about and mom to be raped from Iowa after Diana set our home at 405 2nd street n.e. Waukon,Iowa 52172 on fire December 3rd 2014.

Even without a gypsie I curse them for the nasty bald face liers their all. Ellen I leave this state with everything with me. Pity Ellen you never loved or cared for our mom Marian D.Heike. People look down on other cultures but they would never allow what you Ellen and Diana did harrassing and Gaslighting mom.

I will always have the memories of the delight mom had in collecting her lovely coins. I know mom Never wanted to live with the white trash in Texas.I also curse Dennis Headington and that Dawn woman.

Justice is not fair or equal in America. If you doubt this be gay and be thrown away after lied about by a foul narcississ and all those she corrupted.


I try being the only gay woman of sixty-one and pieces in Ossian Iowa(really anywhere I have ever lived) to over think and over plan everything. I am always amazed when people since my narcississtic half sister left my bleeding beating empty heart for dead under expect humanity because if I could so easily behated by those who knew their gay aunt so well why would anyone even bother to say hi to me.

Yesterday my ‘Wow’ meter was dinging all over the place. With the cart my adopted sister gave me and a a huge bottke of lemon water in a Naked juice from Walmart bottle I set out on my joutney to Casey’s general store in Ossian Iowa.That is the only place in Ossian Iowa to purchase food for those of us literally trapped here to purchase food.

If I had money Id start a small store sell mill flour surgar other things in bulk or smalled like the Amish do to their communities.A great community the Amish. I found non Amishish yesterday.The lady that thought I was jibber jabbering past her house came put and asked if I needed help.I told her I was talking to her two cats she said she had 4 inside. I know I had fed the black one that went into her garage.I’m unsure he was one she counted or just fed. This lady refused to take $20 for taking me to Caseys General store(stupid ass name and I was stupid for buying more then milk. My bill for 5 baby cuties, 2 gallons of 2% milk and 2 power aids at Doller Tree a dollar at Walmart 89 cents. My bill was seventeen plus dollars.

The cat/dog lady drove me home too. Then the savage people came for my dads old red pickup. At about five oclock I recieved a phone call. Of course I thought ‘ What now!’

See my older straight half sister married five times divorced as soon as they saw the monster she was kicked me to death so I naturally go directly to ‘what now! Deep in my gut! So when the young wife of an Army vet says her husband will not hear me protest they are comming Sunday to take me to get grocceries. The nearest place for me or anyone in this area is Wally World ten miles away. Which the red cab would charge me eighty three dollars to do.

She said she told him I had been in USARMY. I have an honorable dis charge from the USARMY. Wow! The only thing that ever got me was internal satisfaction. I still at 4:10 am have nothing better to say then ‘Wow!’

My own nephews will not call,come by send a card because hating their gay aunt on lies from the real monster in my family delights in crushing my moms heart daily the narcississ who lit our electric drier on fire December 3 2014 got her what took her three years of brutalizing our mom had failed to do force our mom from her Iowa home where her Gay pieces daughter cared for her.

If I had been already a successful author, bloggiest with Bitcoins I would have had the legal protections to keep mom and me safe from the bitch. Mom and I had less rights then the men Diana wed. Those men simply divorced the mean bitch and went on with their lives.

It is terrific seeing that there are people out there that are pure in heart. I feel,Blest,Wow!