Fail upward

Seems a bunch of people will not attempt something for fear they will suck hell life is or is not a failure. The judging of your success is ‘Only through your eyes!’

This knowledge took me exactly sixty-one years and five months in three days. Its a learned knowledge.Fir most of my life I trylied smashing the round head into the square hole. Mom use to think if I pretended I was christian ‘Everything would be good!’ I was betrayed by my priest who thought letting me go so he could employ three mentally challenged for what I was paid without insurance or paid time off.

In nineteen hundred and seventy seven I inlisted in delayed inlistment in USARMY to enter in April nineteen hundred and seventy eight. It was my second attempt to leave home I was just nineteen. Knew nothing thought I did, silly me.

Boot was fun and daring uniforms were awesome just like John Wayne( Boot is what Army training is referred to.) I was in from April to July twenty eight.

When I got to my AIT(that’s traing for my MOS,((job)), I was told Sarg.Leadbetter in Decorah was not only handsie but only good at sending bodies to boot camp for jobs that did not exit. I’m sure they were passing the blame the only thing I thought he must be good at was staying alive!

Sargent Leadbetter stuck his hand in my pants next to being raped at seventeen that freaked the shit out of me!

I had no one to ask or seek advice of so I asked my cousin I Karen what should I do.I had been offered five choices {mechanic, missle crew person,M.P. mess hall cook or leave and get a waiver to return in two years.} I learned at nineteen make your own life altering choices. Own your own choices.

I learned in nineteen hundred and ninety eight my cousins thought I was retarded and a miracle I passed the Army battery with high marks. Of course Pieces we are nit rash we love to mull things over a while.

Get our acid level high, fuss over things then air our opinions. I was working as Line Chef at Telemark Ski resort in Cable,Wisconsin.The day after I arrived Telmark filed Chapter eleven.So off to Door County for the rest of their season working as Prep Cook. Love Prep Cook job.

LeeAnn Heike lived by Green Bay I dropped by to see her.Not a social call.No screaming made by either of us.I simply told her I was never retarded always Gay. Lost my entire family with that one trueth.

Nothing will make a person feel more like a failure then to return to your small Iowa town not a soldier.Of course no one else in ny class of two hindred joined our countries armed services or did boot camp.

Nineteen hundred and eighty four November went into the United States Marine Corps I had enlisted early fall, I had inlisted earlier that year after Denver. Anticipation was crushing it God women are yummy in Uniform( what!) Hared it plus Marines do not want women.

You have to ask permission to go to the head or get a vitamin C. The Marine seem sure people will murder themselves. Not this chick see At twenty – six I was not a runner. If you drop from the run three times you are placed into PCP.

Physical Conditioning Platoon given twenty one days to get with the program or into Causuals.Causials is next to OUT!

My desires awoke I guess you mightsay in the Marines. Awaken is not knowing jack shit! I had only just heard the word. Took six more years before I met two gay men.

Owners of the Dairy Quuen in Keystone,S.D. Dave and Tommy absolutemy lovely Tommy.Gay men are the bomb. My first season working at Mount Rushmore.

I worked ninety four and five as a seasonal going fulltime in November ninety six.The head of personal Russ Jobman’s purpose in his mind was to make life a bitch ig he knew employers were LGBTQ. Hours are cut, life is made a bitch so it is no ‘Shocker people quit!’

I loved working at Mount Rushmore in the time I was living and working at the mountain (employees called it that.) Friends you imagine you know you turn on you, you experience how unfunny they are! People were actually betting how long it would take for me to turn Queer!

Baby I was BORN GAY! BEING WHO i am took forty years.I dreamed since thirteen I was male.Previous lifes I’m sure I was male. Men surely do not have to deal with this kind if trash!!!!

I left Mt.Rushmore May of nineteen hundred and ninety eight after being draged from my Fudge and Ice cream area and told what a fool I was for burning my bridge and leaving full time at Mt. Rushmore. Russ was pissed that year heaven was all messed up his suster in law joined Sweet Adelined and was corrupted by a Lessbo!

Why is it offensive people never pay for being all screwed up. One day I picked up a homeless man. He wanted to work.I took him to Russ before I saw his true colors. The man was hired lasted two weeks.

Could not stay in a place he was treated so poorly. Come on people who work in resorts most even fulltimes live in a dorm. When we loose our employment we loose our home.

My sister Ellen in nineteen and ninety five showed what little she knew when she stated that if I stuck with working in South Dakota longer then from April fifeteenth to October fifeteenth I’d be terr off. I said “What!'( said with whinny voice)

Ellen said you start then you quit.Ellen worked for years full time at Pamida its like a small Wal-Mart. I got nine to twelve hours a week.Store room clerk they would not train me on the new scanner program. I said Ellen could you live on nine hours a week?

Then she said then what about Mt.Rushmore? I said Ellen have you never heard of a contract job? You work your time you complete it to geta bonus. When your contract is through you loose home and wage.

At Saint Pats when I worked as assistant custodian I worked twenty tontwenty-fibmve a week during school year but got fourty in the summer. At five an hour(June nineteen hundred and ninety – August nineteen huntred and ninety two) no insurance,no time off for Father E.Lectenburg until he handed me a piece of paper telling me to sign.

I had people telling me I quit.I did not.I give things to people. Women seem to believe which at the time I didn’t know or get and probally never shall that women who are not me really do not understand I share not for them but for me.

I had a crush on the piano teacher so I shared rocks and things. What’s improper about sharing it was a Christian church school.Why are they so uptight.People never seem to get workers work patern is truely not their fault its those that choose to play with our lives like we are marionettes.

At fifty I return to college. At the proper age I had a year at William Penn College in Oskaloosa, Iowa. I’m totally unsure how a college Inwent to in nineteen hundred and seventy six that was a college miraculously like magic became a University. Its a bitch putting that I went a year there just out of high school only yo find out you can nit write William Penn College University pops up. I never went to a University!

I was there a year my first time ever away from home. I became Val bible toter I found at a christian school easier to hide and be less alone if toting a bible.When I pledge Lamba Delta Phi I had to carry an expensive stuff bear.

I knew that if I was there for four years I would till I die have to hear forever how mom put herself out and went without so Val could go to college.

Did not matter nor would it ever Ellen did not care to go and my half suster on my desire was sex and marrying ever male and was in the family way at eighteen.

So I thought the Army was my way out of Iowa. I was incorrect but I tried. So at fifty there I was riding down to road to my moms seventy fifth birthday supper with my cousij Wayne and his mom and dad Aunt Clarian and uncle Bud. They asked me what my plans were I said in January I’m going back to college.

Evidently my family spent years stuffing others with lies my aunt Clarian says ‘Your not going to make your poor mom pay for that too are you? My Goddess! In America the is goverment is just like the catholic church she loves keeping people people poor.

There’s money for us to the ((below poverty to go to school,no assistance when we are falsely accused of Elder Abuse.)) So I started in January two thousand and eight.

Never in my life had such good marks. School for me was full of bullies. My favorite part of school was going home to my pets and mom. I went to a hunior college most classes for N.I.C.C.(Northeastern Iowa Community College) we’re held at the new Wellness Center in Waukon by the High School.

Mickey Maynard I had met at Skyland Lodge while I worked there with her best friend. Mickey and her friend camped and hiked always wore Thelma and Louse sweat shirts and sweaters( they were straight) Mickeys busband was direct descendant of the navy captain that caught Black Beard.

How cool is that see Im a history nerd. History was my major. In two thousand eight August after two semesters of college after a final in Cultural Diversity I was struck in a cross walk by a retired ninety three attorney on by my ten speed.I had noticed this little car turn up behind me.

It was a shocker one minute Inwas thinking about the first episode of the season on NICS and mom’s homemade Taco soap back when I was under the illusion my older half sister was beautiful and she loved me like I her. Then ‘Bam!’

In an instant I plummeth through the windshield on my left elbow grandma Agnes Kleeman Heike was blind and my eyes are precious se I closed my eyes and placed my left elbow over them and clasped my left hand in my right. Blew out all of Lynn Morrows air bags. Then when stopped there was a tire mark on his back bumper .

I always thought he when over my bike my ten speed before he stopped but may be my lovely bike bought used with money Mickey sent me for getting my first ever three B’s.

Lynn Morrow got no ticket.I took him to cout to get some money slamming into the concrete smashed my right wrist to bits.I had to have theory my left knee cap had been literally moved over.I got my attorney from Iowa access line Edward Krug like Father Ed I was made by Ellen Krug to sign that I would never return and ask Lynn Morrow for resotution he nearly killed me.

My local hospital did no CT scan or keep me over night this January two thousand and nineteen January just eleven years later I got one.

I transferred out of NICC in two thousand and twelve into Luther College.Ihad planned to transfer in with my AA’s in history and psychology but due to unestablished brain trauma I have a math disability. Evidently failing higher math is not the proof of the unability to test in a subject.

Another three years of nearly all through including summer school to earn my teaching degree cane to a waste of time for my mom and family. People telling a person with the inability to accomplish a subject “I have confidence even woth a tutor you will do fine.’I had one math professor tell me it was great seeing me that I failed in Stats get back on the horse. He then preceeded to fail me agsin I grasp the essense but I can not test in it.

After my half sister did to mom and me and preceeds to do it took a year for mom after Gaslight to believe my half sister I write discusting things about my mom Marian D.Bittenger Heike I deserve to be off my mom’s will this was my fifty-eight birthday card. Diana stopped me talking to mom last May after she sent me a Wal-Mart gift card that had been voided out after mom had Diana place $30 on it.

June of last year I took books to my sister Ellen in Waukon Iowa. (People your enemies watch and read your bloggs.Really!) I saud I’d be there at Ellens outside Waukon, I was Diana Horsefuck called the sherriff department another example of slander of malice.

I deliever the box. No one came out to assist as I pulled the box accross the cement. Then I got in my truck and went to the catholic church.

June last year I started my Youtube channle with a poor grade camera Samsung phone. My camera and residence better now.I read books as who I am Out lesbian entrepreneur who wanted to teach specializing in Military history then my history like Anne Lister ( Gentleman Jack) in Yorkshire during the eighteen hundreds.

See my history is LGBTQ but as of yet in two thousand and nineteen is just seen by colleges as a gender study taught as a choice. Balderdash! No one wants to be different we are who we are vie DNA. We are not freaks or monsters. Many of us care for our elders because lets face it most straight people lack emphany except writers or actors scratch that. I claim them as family.

Yesterday a lady asked what I did I said I read on my You tube Channle Pat spoke up really fast she reads history.I was impressed. I might read historic base but Inhave found people will not hear a historic book read or hear one.

I love history and know the potential hidden inside us tucked in our stories.

Well off to read Game of thornes and…

I plan on continuing to attempt to find funds tobstart my Media company and delivery service. Etc…

Other infirmation:

Seems hate is every where. In two seasons and a year and a half as full time only saw two native women start to work at the concession then they vanished into the woodwork. Some of us look one way they use to say blood will tell.

What an accinine statement the fellow who developed the separation if blood and platelets was black and after a horrible car wreck he bleed to death before some white Christian got him to the ‘right’ hospital. Baby all blood is Red! This black doctor went I’m sure right to his thought heaven.

I’m sure hatred is everywhere just much worse because in my LGBTQ community we are dispised due to skin color and because we don’t date. I was always talk in kitchens ‘well is Val dating yet?’ Others would talk like I was a fool ‘ Isn’t it sweet Val helos her mom!’

Until someone in my family saw me and my goodness as a tool. That’s how mom was eventually after a set fire forced to Granbury Texas a place mom NEVER wanted to go! No one looked into all the evidence left be my half sister. Come on has America nit grown at all ? How hard is it to reconize hate?

Fun( not) fact the bigoted head of personal is last Inheard G.M. that’s failing upward. The old mountain much like Aramark length of employement is more important then management training.

Published by Val's Whitewolf Media Youtube Channle

My Youtube is Val's Whitewolf Media. I read books and do commentary. When I have a camera I expand my reach community wise.

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