The picture is Ellen at 3 and me 5 going on 6. Back when family gatherings were mostly hugs,laughter then toward the end gathering was not done till sensative Val was in tears.
Crying I recall the person I use to dream of my sister Ellen my best friend. (Thomas unsure if this is one of his names or not.)Louis Gates the other night( and I can never recall his third name) guest said that her family was taught family mattered not friends.
God I wish Ellen had been taught that because when I sue Diana I will be taken her to court also. Calling the law,not carring or thinking about my pain when she could have years ago just stood up and told the truth.
When I was a kid I noticed females before I was 6. Its rammed into you from birth in the midwest.More precise rural America families are mom and dad, grandparents,children. No choice in what is or is not.
I was six. I noticed dad liked beer mom seemed to cry alot. Before I was six I had heard so much about the man mom loved it was not dad.
By nine I knew my place was with mom.My kid sister hung with a girl gang. In rural Iowa Laurense not far from Nana’s( moms mom and dad.) Everything was Val help your mother.Watch your sister.I learned at 3 things the baby did were cute. Doing same things at 3 got me spanked.
There was the baby and my older sister.Children seem to be taught hate first later maybe if its convienant love maybe trust. I learned being always by mom how to cook ,shop,care,be gentile. That no meant no for me,not for Diana or Ellen. Diana did what Diana wanted Ellen to. Diana real young discovered boys.Ellen beer.
I saw mom use tears.Tears are as much a weapon as words both weilded like highly polished weaponry Excaliber. Going to the family cabin was always like this. I’d hell mom who did all the planning,cooking, packing,rounding up.Dad literately saved pennies in a jar.Dad Dr.L.N.Heike Chripractor,youngest son of Paul John Andrew Heike and Agnus Kleeman. Paul when six sailed with his father,mother and brother Robert from Prussia to America.
The courage it took for Robert to leave his family,his church even the family in the graveyard for a better life in a country he assumed were Christian. Granpa long dead before I was born in 1958, grandpa Robert born 1858 like me stood up to a bully. I’m sure his indifference only mattered in his heart maybe his wives.
Inherited memory one a generation tries to make like better to correct something foul. Dad’s dad Paul John Andrew joined the Medical Corps and went to France.Songs were popular ‘Johnny Doeboy and When Johnny comes marching home!’ I would have loved to have heard tales of grandpa in France but that was not to be. Diana was 8 when mom and dad wed in 1956.
Grandapa Paul in 1956 wife Agnes Kleeman Heike was blind and crippled.Pauls oldest son Norman Ervin Eric Heike never served time in Uniform dad when young fired a gun near his left ear blew out Normans eardrum. Norman’s wife was Wava prettiest female,aunt like a movie star. Norm and Wava by 1956 had five children Renea,Leeann,Lauri,Karen and Charles.Dad’s sister Gertrude husband Charles had five children,Becky,Moni,Paul,John and Michael.
Upon meeting Diana’s grandpa for the first time Diana hated not being the whole show so in order to get mother’s attention back on herself she repeated to mom a word she had heard. Diana at eight called a hero in the medical corps who drove ambulances and went into the awful horrid trenches removing wounded and the dead a phodfile. She told mom that grandpa touched her.
Mom’s mom had laid the stonework for that work of fiction mom went to her new sisters in law. I was deprived of every learning about dad’s dad. Funny thing bet dad was never told that shit. Dad was a survivor of beatings. Dad beat me like he was beat. Dad died in 2012 the year I started Luther College and Dianas first lie to start all over everyone imaginig mom needed to be saved.
Like Sixth Sense the movie Diana loves hearing we are so proud of you. Nothing to be proud of I was just Val the reason Diana’s life was fucked up.
I have no trust to say I have trust issues is a lie. I have no ounce of trust left. My family heard what they wanted refused what they saw.I did for mom she helped me. Ellen first lived with Shawn under dads office the water bill rose.Ellen yelled so Val lives at home. No one will ever get it for gay people not knowing where we belong staying ,helping our moms gave us a use allowed us to be safe and hidden.
Sticks and stones we used to say were less then words,thats incorrect words are like razors they have me today January 31,2019 bleed out. The other day an old flame I have been talking to called me in bed. Even thats to close. I can not handle my cat to close.I can not find legal consul to sue the bag of bones thatbafter setting our home on fire has my mom and my family believing horrid lies about me.
No one cares there all in my half sisters imagination. I can finally ketch her in all her lies and miss deeds because of what she did last June by calling the Allamakee County Sherriff.The Sherriff sent two officer to detain a suster going to see her sister with a box of books.
When I do a wellness check she has mom believing all hee foul lies and theating my mom with the life of her second cat. I’m tired of being the only one that cares. I just want the sweet silence of death to return. Her smoke from Diana Lee Heike Dudleys fire December 3rd night after the parish priest from Waukon Saint Pateicks Catholuc church paid mom and I a visit.We discussed keeping mom free of her abuse.Before mom and I could act on what he told us we had a fire.
No one from Iowa’s Human Services cared to ask him what he thought of the white trash who prayed upon her gay half sister and her mom. No one looked into the finances of a daughter working 20 hours a week at a theater ( Granbury Opera house ) selling tickets.A job she quit after finally after 3 years bullying mom and a fire in our electric drier.
Bullying on the phone seventy times a week in two thousand and fourteen proven by looking at phone calls companies keep records for ten years.Still can be proven.Hell emails are as much detramentle to the feen Diana is and was as smoke from a gun!!!!
Diana was insistant the house has to be knocked down yet Mike Ferring who bought mom’s home for $13000 less its still market value restored the house Diana said could not be restored then sold it for $10600. 405 2nd street n.e. Waukon,Iowa 52172.
Diana and her we. Mom was barely in the hospital a week and mom no longer said Diana and I it was we.We is a control word it stops individual thought. Help me help mom before its to late for black and me.
Today 2019 we American’s suffer from a president who seems to belittle the rock that were the immigrant and native Americans America built its self upon.America is not a bunch of rules stuck on a wall America’s her people. Trump wealthy will never understand the salt of the earth my grand and earlier parents were.
Prussia near todays Poland was in disevil( that might just be my word a writer doing what I do best pour what is in my heart out upon my keyboard on my Samsung phone.)The Czar wanted to rule the Lutheran church so my great grandad whosd three brothers were in the Uzar( the Czars royal guards) left his homeland with his wife and two children. If is were my family today all chicken shits lead not with tbeur hearts but their genitiles following the bully of my family my half sister Diana.
Black my cat was just in here saw me writting still abd went to the bathroom to climb into a cupboard.His first human abused him.Cats without claws do not like cat boxes the gravel hurts their paws. Nothing to protect their paws. Funny people never give people a thought when they have what they want or need. I bet he was locked in the cupboard.
Diana told human services I would not survive without help. The weather in Iowa for a week nearly two has been as heartless a bitch as my half sister. Last week after my welness check threatened me vie the cop charging me with harrassment.She stopped me talkibg to mom May first 2018.Told Dr.Pillsbury at Luther College mom tried to send me mail and call me in December but could not reach me.I call nearly every day and just get the magic jack.
Last I said into the phone Ill see you Diana in Jail. I will and dead too( this part I thought.) Two weeks ago I got a text atb1030 pm repeating with an emoji if a paper proclaiming it.I know tricks of a narcississ but shes trying to up again her abuse quotion by telling the cop about charging me with harrassment that made a legal document.
I need to free mom if my death is what it takes again thats fine because lonliness if like a bottomless void.
If in Texas call this number just see if the narcississ lets my mom answer the phone that is suppose to be mother. Maybe then you will hear my moms voice and you can tell her Val loves her with all her heart.